Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Chapter Summaries and Character Index Zero Draft

This is a work in progress.  Check the Google Doc (docspub) for the latest update. 

Chapter

Summary

First appearance

Issues

1. The Children of King Trad

A prologue, in which the history of King Trad and his children (Henry, Grace and John) is briefly recounted

King Trad, King Richard, Henry, Grace, John, Selene, Eleanor


2. The Friends of King Trad

The friends of King Trad meet and discuss how they will sneak Henry, Grace and John out of the city, and into the Western Forest

Horak, Peter, Philip, James, Midor (mentioned), Robert (mentioned)


3. Escape into the Forest

Part 1: Horak, Peter, Henry, Grace and John travel out of the city and to the Woodsman’s cabin

Part 2: a brief description of Henry, Grace and John.

Part 3: Henry, Grace and John are introduced to Robert, and step into the woods.



4. The Secret Path

Robert leads Henry, Grace and John into the path beneath the thornbushes.  They encounter several animals who greet Robert.  A nymph falls in love with Henry, and offers to hide him in her tree.  

the Bear King (mentioned), Russell, Titus, Multus, 

This chapter references jewels that Henry, Grace and John were carrying, that is not set up in previous chapters.

5. The Bear King

Part 1: Robert explains about the Bear King to Henry, Grace and John.

Part 2: Robert leads Henry, Grace and John into the Bear King’s Kingdom, but when Henry challenges the Bear King, they are expelled, and subsequently captured by General Graten’s army

Jarus, Lotus, Grato, General Graten (mentioned), Fulvio (mentioned)


6. Fulvio

The mouse Fulvio helps Robert, Henry, Grace and John escape from General Graten’s army.  They hide in the Badger Burrow after escaping.

Andrew


7. The Hippocamps

After hiding in the Badger Burrow for several days, Robert, Henry, Grace and John emerge and make their way to the lake and river.  They are then carried down the river by 4 Hippocamps.

Stephanus


8. The Elf Kingdom

Part 1: Robert, Henry, Grace and John enter the Elf Kingdom.  

Part 2: The next morning, they resupply themselves in the Elf Kingdom, and then continue on their journey

The Elf King


9. The Land of the Fairies

Robert leads Henry, Grace and John into the land of the fairies.  They meet the Animal People, and spend the night.

Mr. Frog, Mr Rabbit (mentioned), Ms. Fox (mentioned), Mr. Rat (mentioned), Ms. Badger (mentioned), Mr. Mole, Mr. Cat, Ms. Racoon

This would be a good place to name some individual fairies.

Set up earlier that John was reading stories about the Animal People

10. Castle Tauna

Robert, Henry, Grace and John stumble upon Castle Tauna.  Robert meets his whole family (mother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins) and discovers that he is a prince of Castle Tauna.

Carlyle, Benevois, Vivian, George, Sarah, Susan, Conor, Rufus, Charlotte, Marcia, Thomas, Penelope, Charles, Alicia, Amanda, Helen, Jason, Eric, Talon


11. Searching for Midor

Castle Tauna goes on a search throughout the kingdom for Midor.  Henry begins flirting with Alicia and Amanda.  In the evening, Thomas tells John and Grace more about Castle Tauna.


It sounds at times that Midor had been a complete stranger to this part of the forest.

Thomas says there is no army in Castle Tauna, but there is an army in later chapters.

12. General Graten’s Parley

General Graten’s army arrives to fight, but King Carlyle meets with General Graten, and talks the army out of fighting


King Carlyle says “You can serve in my army--contradicts previous chapter in which it is said that there is no army.  

The housing crisis for the soldiers is set up here, but never addressed later.

It’s established in this chapter that they run out of the wine.  So keep consistent later.

13. The Ghosts of Castle Tauna

Part 1: Robert, Henry, Grace and John discuss the sounds that they’ve been hearing at night.

Part 2: Thomas tells Grace about the spirits that haunt the forest


Why are the birds saying “Beware son of Midor”?

It’s established that Talon is keeping the ghosts under control, but later it is never explained what happens to the ghosts when Talon is gone.

Thomas doesn’t appear to know the history of the ghosts (i.e. originated with Catherine)

14. Beneath the Hollow Tree

Robert, Grace, Henry and John hear voices at night and leave the castle.  They are joined by General Graten and Thomas.  The voice of Midor instructs them to go beneath  the hollow tree.  They go down, and find Midor imprisoned in a magic grove.  They try to rescue him, but Talon appears.  They fight Talon.  In the end, everyone but Thomas is knocked into the grove.



15. Inside the Magic Grove

Part 1: Thomas runs back to the castle and tells Marcia what just happened

Part 2: Robert, Henry, Grace, John and Talon find themselves in the grove, where they meet Midor.  Talon is bound and gagged.  Midor tells them what has happened


A number of issues regarding how Midor found the grove in the first place, and why Talon imprisoned him, which have yet to be sorted out.  Something about the Bear King’s son.

16. The Ancient Monsters

Part 1: Thomas leads the royal family into the underground chamber

Part 2: Midor and everyone else are pulled out of the grove by Thomas.  Midor tells King Carlyle what happened.  Talon tells King Carlyle that the grove is home to the ancient monsters, where the sorcerer’s guild imprisoned them centuries ago, but now the spell is broken.  King Carlyle tells Rufus and George that they can no longer trust Talon.


In this chapter Vivian says she knows Midor has been trying to visit her every year.  In other chapters (both before and after this one) it’s established that she doesn’t know.

The entrance to the land of the monsters contradicts what will later be established with Ambrosia.

Midor is aware that this is the land of the monsters in this chapter, but he appeared unaware in the previous chapter.

In this chapter Talon communicates with the guild by Ravens.  In later chapters it is hinted as a form of telepathy.

It is once again established that Talon is the only one who can control the spirits.

17. Preparing

Part 1: Vivian and Midor talk about their relationship

Part 2: Midor watches the men attempt to fill up the hole and comments on it.

Part 3: Castle Tauna receives reports of a goblin army approaching


Thomas says the goblins are seldom a problem for people because of their size--this contradicts later parts when the goblin threat is built up

18. The Goblin Army

The royal family encounters the goblin army.  There is a brief battle, and Grinthal the Goblin King is taken prisoner.

Grinthal

If the Goblin army has been here many times before, then how come they don’t know about the trees?

19. The Dragons

The Goblin King Grinthal is locked up in the dudgeon.  Then, dragons Klangor and Starrof appear and threaten the castle.  King Carlyle promises them goblins instead, and then releases Grinthal

Klangor, Starrof

It’s said that dragons are not duplicitous and that they seldom break their word.  But later on, it’s established that nobody trusts Starrof and Klangor.

20. Talon Performs Magic

Part 1: King Carlyle visits Talon to discuss the plan for when the dragons arrive.

Part 2: The dragons arrive.  Talon disregards King Carlyle’s plans, and turns them into rabbits.  King Carlyle is disturbed that Talon has powers he has not yet revealed.  King Carlyle discusses with his sons plans to spy on Talon


Talon is now in contact with the sorcerer’s guild via a glowing orb.  Previously he said he would need a raven.

In light of all that has happened since, it’s hard to believe that King Carlyle wouldn’t have known about the power of magic to transform creatures.

Rufus is the father of Thomas, but that connection is not obvious here.

21. Romantic Interludes

Part 1: Henry talking to Alicia about their relationship

Part 2: Vivian talking to Midor about their relationship

Part 3: Grace talking to Robert about their relationship



22. General Graten Versus Henry

General Graten first criticizes Henry’s fencing technique, and then agrees to train him.  Graten also upsets the rabbits.



23. Talon Gets Visitors

Part 1: Talon is visited by Peter and Susan

Part 2: John discusses with Grace and Henry an ancient scroll he found in the library.


Talon says that the guild doesn’t have a physical location--this contradicts what is later established that the guild is located in the caves.

Part 2 contains a plot thread that I later completely forgot about and was never further developed.  It might make sense to delete this part.  Or, perhaps the second draft could make better use of this plot.

24. Standing Guard

Jason, Midor and Graten stand guard over the entrance to the chamber, and exchange stories.


Lots of details here about the Bear King’s son that were never followed up.

Also, I changed Charles to Jason here because I now think Charle’s backstory is as captain of the guard.  But now I need to add another scene somewhere with Charle’s backstory.

25. Talon Knows

Part 1: Talon talks to Susan, and drops hints that he knows he’s being spied on.

Part 2: George, Rufus and Carlyle discuss that Talon knows


Would it be better to have an earlier scene in which it’s revealed how Talon figures it out?

More talk about how Talon is controlling the spirits.  This part was completely dropped later.

26. Grace Versus Henry

Grace confronts Henry about his flirting with multiple girls


This chapter is very short.  Is that a problem?  Should it be combined with another chapter?

In future chapters, it needs to be better set up that both Grace and Henry broke a lot of hearts back in Mora.

This chapter sets up a conflict which is not followed through later.

27. John Gets Shrunk

John encounters Catherine (not yet named) who shrinks him down to the size of 3 inches.  John escapes from Catherine, and meets Benjamin the Mouse and Jacob the frog.

Benjamin the mouse, Jacob the Frog, Catherine (appears, but name is not mentioned)

It says John is shrunk to the size of a man’s thumb (3 inches)--I think later it might say he was 6 inches.

28. Catherine Returns

Catherine shows up at Castle Tauna and demands entrance, but realizes that she’s lost John.  Carlyle will only grant her entrance if she can find John.

Catherine (named)


29. The Hungry Fox

John, Benjamin and Jacob are chased by Tarquin the fox, and have to run up a gnome tree to escape.

Tarquin


30. Carlyle Asks for Midor’s Help

King Carlyle enlists Midor’s help to search for John


King Carlyle says: “She’s already shrunk down one guest of this castle, and she’s voiced the intention of shrinking down more.” Which was true once, but I’ve since revised that chapter so that it is now not stated explicitly.

31. The Spider in the Tree

John, Benjamin and Jacob are attacked by a spider while exploring the tree tops

Gaius the Spider (appears but is not named) 


32. Carlyle Asks for Talon's Help

Carlyle asks Talon to help search for John.


There is some repetition here with previous chapters, particularly Carlyle’s injunction not to harm Midor but not to help Midor

33. The Life Debt

General Graten argues with Klangor and Starrof.  After sparing Klangor’s life, General Graten claims a life debt.



34. Catherine and Talon Strike a Deal

John, Benjamin and Jacob find the gnomes.  A forest council is eventually called, at which Midor shows up. And then Catherine shows up to shrink Midor.  Finally, Talon shows up, and Talon and Catherine agree to join forces

Gaius the spider (named)

In this chapter, the gnomes are surprised that Gaius the spider would break the law of the forest.  But in an earlier chapter, there’s a walking stick near the spider’s hole which is presumed to be left by a gnome he attacked.

It needs to be set up earlier that there are ravens around Castle Tauna bringing Catherine information.  Also, is it consistently ravens, or is it crows in some chapters?

35. Trying to Warn Carlyle

Midor unites with John, Benjamin and Jacob.  Midor sends Bartholomew the fly to try to warn Carlyle

Bartholomew

This is the chapter where Midor meets Jacob and Benjamin.  In later chapters, I forgot about this, so don’t forget to change in later chapters.

36. Catherine Triumphant

Catherine and Talon enter the castle.  Carlyle is turned into a frog.


Carlyle claims that the creatures of the forest would never allow Catherine back on the throne.  But the subsequent chapters do not show any tension.

Talon, not Catherine, actually casts the spell which turns Carlyle into a frog.  But in later chapters, it is attributed to Catherine.

37. Down the Mouse Hole

Midor and John arrive to help Carlyle escape from Catherine.  They help him escape down a mouse hole

Carl, Sandi, Stuart


38. Catherine is Queen

The rest of the royal family confronts Catherine and Talon.  Talon and Catherine defend Catherine’s right as Queen.


Here Catherine needs her wand in order to produce magic.  But this is later abandoned.

39. In the Gnome Tunnels

Part 1: Carlyle, Midor and John enter the Gnome tunnels, and meet Dustin.

Part 2: While walking with Dustin, Midor tells Carlyle and John about the Gnomes

Part 3: They are brought before the Gnome King David

Dustin, David

Originally the three parts were intercut with other scenes from Castle Tauna. I’ve put them all together now in my effort to make my chapters more thematically united.  But does this interfere with the pacing?


It is set up here that the Gnome King plans to help Midor and Carlyle reverse their enchantments.  Was this ever followed through?

40. George and Rufus Confront Talon

Part 1: George and Rufus discuss what they are going to do

Part 2: George and Rufus confront Talon


The two parts here were originally in separate chapters (and intercut with other scenes.)  I’ve recut it to make the chapters more thematically united, but possibly now the pacing is off.

41. Vivian Cares for Benevois

Vivian helps her mother, Benevois, who is now a frog.


What is “the crisis” that Vivian was waiting to conclude before she could return to Midor?

42. The Dragons Petition Catherine

Klangor and Starrof appeal to Catherine to turn them back into dragons.  Catherine refuses


-In this version, Catherine and the dragons have never met each other and have no history.  Depending on what happens with the second draft, I may have to re-work this section.

-Catherine states explicitly that dragons can’t be trusted and make unreliable allies.  This contradicts what Carlyle said in chapter 19.  (Although as this goes on to become the dominant view, it’s probably chapter 19 that needs to be resolved).

-Catherine says that she will discuss with Talon about the dragon’s request, but that plot thread is never picked up again

43. John Learns Catherine’s History

Midor, John and Carlyle dine with the gnomes.  Midor tells John Catherine’s backstory


-This chapter also mentions Catherine needs the wand

- This chapter also emphasizes the ghosts outside the castle need to be controlled

-As Catherine’s backstory becomes more set in the second draft, the backstory here will need to be revised to align with it more

44. Catherine Makes an Offer

Catherine offers to train Vivian in magic



45. King Grinthal is a Guest in the Castle

Catherine forces King Grinthal to agree to act as her head of security



46. Breakfast in the Gnome Tunnel

Midor, Carlyle and John eat breakfast, and talk about plans to make contact with Castle Tauna.



47. General Graten and Catherine Discuss Terms

Catherine wants General Graten to join her services, but he wants proof of her loyalty first


--This implies wine is a scarcity, but General Graten was already drinking wine in chapter 33.  I think this could be smoothed over by just making clear the wine cask that General Graten took in chapter 33 was dried up.

--There’s a plot thread not followed up on here in which Catherine proposes to give the houses of the forest people to General Graten’s soldiers

48. The Birds Fetch Vivian

Part 1: The cardinals Sarah and Sandi arrive to fetch Vivian

Part 2: Vivian and Robert meet Carlyle, Midor and John



49. Goblins in Castle Tauna

Henry, Robert and Grace get into a confrontation with the goblins, and are chided by General Graten


The problem of Goblins swarming the castle seems to be forgotten in later chapters.

50. The Battle Against the Goblins

There is another battle against the goblins which Vivian stops by using her magic



51. A Message From Vivian

Midor, John, Jacob, Benjamin and Carlyle are travelling.  They receive a message from Talia that Vivian is coming to join them.

Talia


52. Catherine Reprimands General Graten

Catherine expresses frustration at General Graten for the battle with the goblins


--Robert’s leg was wounded.  Did this get followed up in later chapters?

53. Vivian Makes a Decision

Part 1: Vivian leaves the Castle to join Midor and Carlyle.  Starrof and Klangor come with her

Part 2: Vivian meets up with Carlyle and Midor (and John, Benjamin, Jacob)

Part 3: Vivian leaves to go home and fight Catherine.  Midor and Carlyle fight, and Midor agrees to leave the group



54. Vivian Fights Catherine

Vivian comes back to the castle and attempts to fight Catherine.  She ends by agreeing to let Catherine teach her.



55. Lucius the Cat

Lucius the cat abducts King Carlyle, and then they both fall into the water

Lucius


56. King Carlyle Explores the River

King Carlyle and Jacob the frog are invited into the Water Sprite home, and then confront the pike

Larry, Lydia, Justin

--how long can Carlyle stay underwater without breathing air is inconsistent

57. Vivian Practices Magic

Catherine teaches Vivian how to return Benevois back into a human.


--It’s implied that Midor was sympathetic to Vivian’s magic when they were younger (in contrast to her father), but does this square with Midor current opposition to it?

58. The Ogre

An ogre attacks Grace and Robert.  Grace blinds the ogre, but it seriously injures Robert


--Does the ogre need a name?

--It is said here that ogres are difficult to kill--you need to cut off their head.  This contradicts how easily General Graten killed it later.

59. Vivian Heals Robert

Catherine teaches Vivian spells to heal Robert



60. King Carlyle Fights the Pike

King Carlyle confronts the Pike in the river



61. Transformations

Vivian learns spells and Catherine increases her beauty


--It says more ogres are on the way, but this was never followed up on.

62. Searching for King Carlyle

John and Benjamin search the river bank for Carlyle and Jacob


--The explanation for the rabbits staying with John is here given that they did not know the way.  Later, the explanation will be that they were not welcomed in the land of the fairies..  

63. A Monster Emerges

The first ancient monster emerges from the pit.  Charles and General Graten fight it.  Catherine and Talon eventually come to save them with their magic


--General Graten has a suicidal streak here which contradicts his self-preservation tendencies in later chapters

--Catherine comes out to save them from the monster in this chapter, but in later chapter she will refuse to do so.  I suppose we could save this by indicating that this experience changed her mind about fighting.

--The monster is portrayed as being so fast that Catherine doesn’t have time to form spells.  Is this consistent with later portrayals?

64. Negotiating with the Monster

Catherine attempts to get the monster to join up with her, and when it refuses, she releases it (in its hamster form) into the forest


--The fate of this monster (which Catherine offers a reward for killing) is never followed up on

65. The Leaf Wars

John, Benjamin and the rabbits encounter talking leaves who are fighting with each other



66. The Water Sprite Queen

King Carlyle hears about the Water Sprite Queen for the first time, and sets out to find her


--How long frogs can breathe underwater and why is never consistently addressed

67. The Battle Against the Ancient Monsters

3 monsters emerge.  Everyone fights, and then Vivian arrives to save them from the monsters.  But Vivian is losing control of her powers.


--Why is Talon nowhere to be found during this battle?  Where is he?

--Vivian getting taken control of by the dark magic is not really followed up on

68. Searching for the Water Sprite Queen

Carlyle, Jacob and Lydia search for the Water Sprite Queen


--I changed the name of the Watersprite accompanying them from Lucy to Lydia, to match up with the Watersprite mentioned in a previous chapter.  But watch future chapters to make sure Lucy doesn’t appear again.  And also check to see if this character stays with them or disappears

--It’s hinted here that dark magic captured the Watersprite queen, not a portal to another dimension.

69. John Saves the Leaves

John attempts to negotiate a peace with the leaves, which is ruined when the rabbits attack



70. Establishing Protocol

Part 1: Midor and General Graten meet to discuss what happened last night

Part 2: Midor, Graten, George and Rufus meet Catherine to discuss protocol

Part 3: Midor meets Vivian to talk about what happened last night


Originally part 2 and 3 were clearly separated, but when I redid the chapters I put them together.

71. Slvenkor 

Talon, Midor, General Graten and others go out to find the giant monster Slvenkor, and Talon changes it into a hamster

Slvenkor 


72. Carlyle's Search Continues

Carlyle and Jacob continue searching for the Water Sprite Queen


--Lydia disappears from chapter 68.


73. Into the Mushroom Kingdom

John, Benjamin the Mouse and the rabbits enter the Mushroom kingdom


--There’s a line in here explaining why John never realized the magic of the borderlands before--but it might be even better to put some of this magic back into their first trip to the land of the fairies

--The final line of this chapter sets up that there are many more dangers before the Land of the Fairies, but this was never followed up on.

74. The Fleeing Monsters

The giant snake monster and the giant wolf monster have fled into the woods.  Midor wants to pursue them.  Graten wants to let them flee


--This plotline was never followed up on.

75. Guests of the Mushroom King

John is spending a lot of time in the library of the Mushroom castle.  Benjamin is getting worried.



76. The Death of Talon

The monsters kill Talon


--Talon is able to do a couple spells at once, but not 3. In later chapters, it will be stated that only one spell can be performed at once.

77. Talon’s Funeral

Part 1: Talon is buried and everyone talks about him

Part 2: George and Rufus talk about how they can strike against Catherine now


--The monsters that killed Talon are said to have escaped into the forest. I don’t think this is followed up.

--George and Rufus make plans to strike against Catherine, but this isn’t followed up

78. A Meeting is Arranged

The mushroom chief minister tells John that Princess Kolet is in love with him

Kolet (mentioned)

Chief Minister

--originally this chapter didn’t include Kolet’s name.  I’ve added it here, but I need to remember to add it in subsequent chapters.

--John knows what Kolet looks like in this chapter.  In a later chapter, though, he will say their meeting was the first time he saw her.  (Perhaps rewrite the later chapter).

--Should I get rid of the character of the chief minister? Maybe it’s Aurora who conveys the message?  Would make more sense.

--Benjamin the Mouse tells John that there’s no harm in the meeting.  But later Benjamin will be the one who is against the relationship.

79. The Wise Old Turtle

King Carlyle and Jacob meet the wise old turtle, who tells them how to find the Water Sprite Queen



80. Henry and the Love Spell

Part 1: Robert, Grace and Midor discuss how Henry is obviously under Catherine’s love spell

Part 2: Robert, Grace and Midor go to the library to research love spells.  They eventually come to the conclusion that they need Catherine to kiss General Graten.


--It’s mentioned here that there’s a possibility that Robert inherited magical ability, but I don’t think this was ever followed up on.

--A legendary golden apple is mentioned.  Maybe I should allude to the golden apple earlier in the story so that it has some weight

81. Midor Negotiates with General Graten

Midor tries to get General Graten to agree to kiss Catherine.  General Graten demands the magic elf sword


--make sure to put the magic elf sword part in the first draft

82. Catherine Rejects General Graten

Part 1: Midor gives General Graten the magic sword

Part 2: General Graten proposes his love to Catherine.  She rejects him.

Part 3: Midor, Grace and Robert discuss alternative plans.  They agree to try to get Alicia or Amanda to try to break the spell by kissing Henry


--the dialogue is somewhat repetitious.  (Probably a result of composing this over a few different days.)

--This chapter makes a couple different references to the monsters that are running around the forest, a plot line which was later dropped

83. John and the Mushroom Princess

Part 1: John meets the Mushroom Princess for the first time

Part 2: John talks to Benjamin the Mouse about the Mushroom Princess

Kolet (appears)

--Originally this chapter was written before I had decided on the name “Kolet”.  I’ve added it in somewhat unevenly

84. The Witch, The Pike, and the Magical Realm Beyond the Whirlpool

Part 1: King Carlyle and Jacob the frog encounter a whirlpool in the river and travel into it.

Part 2: King Carlyle find a wicked witch, and rescue the frozen body of the Water Sprite Queen from the Wicked Witch

Ambrosia (kind of--The witch will later be changed to Ambrosia)

--at first it’s stated that the pike is terrified of going down the whirlpool.  But later we find out that the pike is in no danger

--I should research freshwater fish and replace the pike with something else

--It’s stated that Midor was trying to track down the smaller monsters--not the Bear King’s son.  Is that a better explanation?

--I will later change my mind about most of the things established in this chapter.  The witch will be changed to Ambrosia.  The magical realm will be changed to the underground.  Thus, most of this will have to be re-written

85. Fighting the Monsters with the Magic Sword

More monsters emerge.  General Graten runs out to fight them with the magic sword.  The sword can cut the monsters, but the monsters are often too fast to be caught.  Vivian comes out and helps General Graten with her magic, but after General Graten is injured, Vivian takes the sword herself



86. Summoning a Dragon

Part 1: Vivian asks Catherine advice on a super speed spell. Catherine suggests a potion.

Part 2: Catherine and Vivian check the library for information on the potion.  When they find out that they need a dragon’s claw, Catherine summons one.



87. Cutting Off the Dragon’s Claw

Part 1: General Graten and Vivian talk  about fighting the dragon.  It is decided that Vivian will take the magic sword herself

Part 2: Vivian and Catherine encounter the dragon and fight it.  They get the claw, and the dragon is transformed into a mouse


--How many spells can be chanted at once.  I feel this is inconsistent

--The mouse dragon is never followed up on.

88. Vivian Takes the Speed Potion

Part 1: Catherine convinces Vivian to take the speed potion instead of giving it to General Graten

Part 2: Vivian recovers from the effects of the speed potion

Part 3: General Graten is enraged when he finds out what happened.


--At the end, General Graten pledges his loyalty to Catherine.  Was this forgotten about later?

89. Midor Agrees Not to Worry

Part 1: Catherine and Vivian decide to track the missing monster.  They realize they’ll need Midor to get their names.

Part 2: Midor, Catherine, and Vivian argue about magic

Rakthar, Larza, Trata, Clozar


90. Midor Talks to Alica

Catherine and Vivian go to fight the monsters.  Midor talks to Alicia and tried to get her to agree to kiss Henry to try to break the love enchantment.


--Midor promises to take Henry under his wing.  Was this ever followed up on?

--Midor seems to know a lot about Henry’s flirtations with Amanda and Alica.  But he was absent for most of that, right?

91. Catherine and Vivian Fight Rakthar

Catherine and Vivian fight the monster Rakthar


--How did Catherine become the expert in monsters?  It was Midor who was supposed to know everything about the monsters.




--General Graten seems to have forgotten his oath of loyalty to Catherine (from chapter 88)

--Does Midor really not know about the magic sword going to Vivian?

93. General Graten Helps Grinthal Escape

General Graten goes into Catherine’s room.  He fights an enchanted Henry first, and then finds Grinthal imprisoned in a magic bottle.  Over Grinthal’s objections, General Graten tries to get the bottle out of the room.


--the fact that Grinthal has been missing comes out of nowhere here.  I should establish it in earlier chapters.

--It’s established that Grinthal is bound by chains, but I think the part about chains will later be dropped?  Should I delete the part about chains?

94. Catherine and Vivian Return Sooner Than Expected

Part 1: Midor recruits Charles, Penelope and Alicia

Part 2: They confront General Graten at the top of the stairs.  Then Catherine and Vivian return home, and Catherine chastises everyone


--Some inconsistencies as a result of writing this over several days.  In one part, Catherine references Carlyle favorably (“maybe my brother did something right”) and then later she gets angry at Midor for bringing up Carlyle

95. John and Princess Kolet Make a Plan

Part 1: Benjamin insists to John that it is time to make the Mushroom Kingdom

Part 2: John and Kolet make a plan to escape together

Aurora (mentioned)

Aurora’s name wasn’t originally in this chapter.  I added it later.

96. Escape from the Mushroom Kingdom

John, Kolet, Aurora and Benjamin escape from the Mushroom Kingdom

Aurora (appears)

--Originally this was the first time that the names “Kolet” and “Aurora” appeared.  I’ve of course revised this so that the names appear early now.  But there’s some awkwardness in the re-writing.

--When I wrote this chapter, I think I forgot that the Mushroom Kingdom was bigger than just the Mushroom Castle.  In Chapter 73, there were mushroom soldiers all throughout a larger kingdom

--Is the story about why the dragon rabbits are waiting inconsistent?

97. Pixies in the Magic Forest

Carlyle and Jacob are in search of someone to help them carry the Water Sprite Queen.  They meet the pixies and Leo the hedgehog

Leo, Aiden, Adair, Conn, Brenna, Arlene, Alina

--What powers do the pixies have?  It’s left too vague

--the part about the Queen of the Water Sprites being the key to keeping the monsters out of the forest was never explained, and gets dropped in later chapters

--earlier the pixies talk about gold, then later they say they don’t want gold

--The pixies are named, but never given any traits that would make them distinguishable from each other

98. Midor, Jason and General Graten Agree to Travel Together

Part 1: a long discussion among the inhabitants of Castle Tauna.  The result is that Jason, Midor and General Graten agree to leave Castle Tauna in search of the sorcerer’s guild

Part 2: Midor says goodbye to Vivian

Aefar

--Henry is confused about the nomenclature of the ancient monsters.  In the first draft, I’ve used the name ‘Teritha’ to distinguish the ancient monsters from the everyday monsters.  I could import that over here.

-General Graten is negotiating in order to accompany Jason.  But why is he negotiating?  What’s in it for him?

99. The Crimes of the Dragon-Rabbits

John, Benjamin, Kolet and Aurora are travelling through the borderlands.  They are almost eaten by Dagon the lizard, but are rescued by the Brownies.  But the Brownies are upset by what Starrof and Klangor have been doing in the borderlands

Dagon

--the logistics about John on the lizard’s tongue is a bit confusing.  I don’t remember exactly what I was visualizing when I wrote this part

--The announcement that the dragon-rabbits have killed several sentient beings darkens the tone somewhat.  Up until now, I’ve been trying to avoid a needless body count in this story.

100. The Brownies Try to Catch the Pixies

King Carlyle’s extended group is intercepted by the Pixies. The Brownies attempt to capture them, but eventually give up and agree to escort them to the land of the fairies.


--I need to decide whether or not flowers can walk in the borderlands.  The previous chapter said some of them could.

101. A Monster in the Mines

Midor, Jason and General Graten are walking when the Dwarves ask for their help in fighting a monster

Garth, Alfred (appears as a worm dragon)


102. Alfred Returns

Part 1: Vivian and Catherine are training, when Sandi and Stuart arrive to relay Midor’s message

Part 2: Vivian and Catherine travel to the mines to help them fight the monster.  The monster turns out to be Alfred

Alfred (appears as a human and mentioned by name)

--Since I wrote this, Alfred’s origin story has evolved.  He’s no longer from one of the noble forest families, but from the mountains.  Also in the new draft, I’m not sure how much contact Vivian will have with Alfred before he disappears.

--This was supposed to be a big turning point in Catherine’s arc, but I didn’t manage to keep the evolution steady.  So now it’s a bit of an awkward scene that changes little

103: In the Land of the Fairies, Once Again

The two different travelling groups (John and Benjamin, Carlyle and Jacob), finally reunite in the land of the fairies.  


--I left myself a note in the text: {Note to self: If you can think of a way for ordinary objects of the forest--e.g. twigs, leaves, etc, to come together and make a raft, that might be preferable.  Or just cut the stream crossing altogether?}

--Most of what is encountered in the borderlands was not set-up when John first visited here with Robert.  In subsequent drafts, I should fix this.

--More stuff to set up in the prequels: Carlyle actually has a history with the fairies

--An inconsistency here (and in subsequent chapters).  I forgot that Talon actually changed King Carlyle into the frog (in chapter 36), not Catherine.

--Would it be better to name the fairies instead of having them be anonymous?  (Yes! Definitely better to name a few of them.)

--The conflict between the fairies and the pixies was built up in previous chapters, but rather underplayed here.

--There’s some repetition in the conversations between Carlyle and the fairies (a result of composing this chapter over multiple days, and possibly of sleep deprivation.)

104. Catherine and Alfred Talk

Catherine and Alfred talk



105. Midor Bargains with Aefar the Vampire

Midor and Charles are talking when Aefar enters.  Midor attempts to bargain with him.


--What is the darker force that is drawing the monsters in deeper?

106. The Water Sprite Queen’s Story

The Water Sprite Queen tells how she became enchanted

Ambrosia (first mention of her name)

--So many issues!  Obviously I need to sort out what exactly my story is, because at the moment I haven’t decided.

107. Carlyle Returns to Castle Tauna

King Carlyle returns to Castle Tauna to warn Catherine about Ambrosia.  John is restored to his normal size by Vivian


--once again, this chapter forgets that it was Talon who put the spell on Carlyle in chapter 36.

108. Meeting New Friends and Old Friends

Carlyle, Vivian and Alfred continue their conversation from the previous chapter


--Would it make more sense to tag this on to the end of the previous chapter rather than have it be its own chapter?

109. John Meets Henry and Grace Again

John meets Henry and Grace again


--not my best work.  (I think I was sleep deprived when I wrote it.)  Also not really a full chapter

110. Catherine Instructs Aefar

Catherine instructs Aefar on how he will accompany Midor and Carlyle


--The part about animal blood not being as sustaining is new to this chapter, I believe.  I don’t think that was mentioned before.

111. Carlyle Asks for Midor’s Help… Again

In front of Catherine, Carlyle asks Midor to accompany him to the realm of monsters.  Then Catherine introduces Aefar as the 3rd member of their journey.


--When I wrote this, I forgot that Midor had already met Benjamin the Mouse in Chapter 35

--This is the second time I’ve used this chapter title.  The first time was chapter 30.

112. Catherine and Vivian Open Up the Underground Chamber

Everyone assembles for the journey into the realm of the monsters.  First, Catherine has to remove the dirt, which she does by giving Vivian a magic lesson



113. Entering the Realm of the Monsters

Part 1: After briefly confirming they have a way back, Midor, Carlyle and the rest step into the Monster’s realm

Part 2: Midor directs them to head towards the horizon


--This is too short to be its own chapter.  I should probably merge it with the previous one.

--As noted in the editorial comments in the text, it’s strange that the question of how they will get back is just now being introduced.

--I don’t remember where, but I think somewhere before I had said that the light was only in the grove.  Obviously I’ve changed that here.

114. General Graten Approaches Charles

General Graten approaches Charles and discusses the subject of launching an attack while Aefar the vampire is away.



115. Walking Through the Land of Monsters

Midor, Carlyle and the rest of their group journey deeper into the land of monsters


--King Carlyle is a bit too chummy with Midor. He had previously forgiven Midor, but perhaps there should still be some lingering frostiness between them.

116. The Big Fight Against Catherine and Her Creatures

There’s a big climactic fight between the family of Castle Tauna and Catherine and her army.  The snake, the bugbear, and the minotaur are killed, and Catherine is captured and bound.


--Oof, this is really rough. But then, it’s a zero draft still

--As I noted in the editorial comments inserted, I forgot about the magic sword and super speed until halfway through the chapter

117. Vivian and Alfred Attempt to Negotiate With Catherine

Catherine wakes up and she is bound and gagged.  Vivian and Alfred attempt to reason with her.


--Exactly how many magic spells are able to be worked simultaneously has been inconsistent throughout this whole story.  Here Vivian says it’s only one.

--The idea of a magic oath which would bind Catherine is introduced, and then seems to be just as quickly forgotten about.

--Is there a cure for the degeneration of Catherine's mind?  Would it be a better story if there wasn’t?

--The ending is very abrupt

118. Return to the Mountains

Vivian and Alfred take Catherine to the mountains, where they discuss with a witch how to remove Catherine’s magical abilities


--This abrupt change to a “Catherine’s redemption arc” is a mistake.  It wasn’t earned in the story, comes out of nowhere, and seems to invalidate everything before

119. Catherine Gets Her Affairs in Order

Catherine releases King Grinthal from his bottle, and also appoints Vivian the ruler of Castle Tauna in her absence as she prepares to journey into the of the monsters.


--This was in the stage when all the chapters I was writing were much too short.

120. Catherine Joins the Quest

Currently unfinished…

Rogbel




King Carlyle + Queen Benevois

Vivian (40s)+ Midor

George (mid 30s)+ Sarah

Rufus (mid 30s) + Charlotte

Penelope (late 30s) + Charles

Helen (late 20s) + Jason

Robert (16)

Susan (12), Conor (10)

Marcia (15), Thomas (14)

Alicia (18), Amanda (16)

Eric (5)



Name

brief description

First appearance/Mention

Adair

one of the male pixies

97. Pixies in the Magic Forest

Aefar

A vampire under Catherine’s control

98. Midor, Jason and General Graten Agree to Travel Together

Aiden

one of the male pixies

97. Pixies in the Magic Forest

Alfred

Catherine’s former lover, who she turned into a monstrous worm

101. A Monster in the Mines (appears in his worm form) 102. Alfred Returns (appears as a human and mentioned by name)


Alicia

daughter of Penelope and Charles.  Sister to Amanda.  18 years old.

10. Castle Tauna

Alina

One of the female pixies

97. Pixies in the Magic Forest

Amanda

daughter of Penelope and Charles.  Younger sister to Alicia. 16 years old

10. Castle Tauna

Ambrosia


84.The Witch, The Pike, and the Magical Realm Beyond the Whirlpool  (Kind of.  I’m planning on rewriting this so the Witch is Ambrosia)

106. The Water Sprite Queen’s Story (first mention of her name)

Andrew

A badger.  A friend of Midor (named changed from Philip)

6. Fulvio

Animal People

Anthropomorphic animals who live with the fairies

9. The Land of the Fairies

Anet

The family that Queen Eleanor comes from

1. The Children of King Trad 

Arlene

One of the female pixies

97. Pixies in the Magic Forest

Aurora

lady-in-waiting to Princess Kolet

95. John and Princess Kolet Make a Plan (mentioned)

96. Escape from the Mushroom Kingdom (appears)

Bartholomew

a fly.  Friend of Midor

35. Trying to Warn Carlyle

Bear King

King of the breakaway kingdom inside the forest. 10 feet tall grizzly bear

4. The Secret Path

Benevois

aka Queen Benevois, the queen of Castle Tauna

10. Castle Tauna

Benjamin

A mouse.  Friend to John.

27. John Gets Shrunk

Brenna

One of the female pixies

97. Pixies in the Magic Forest

Carl

A bee.  A friend of Midor

37. Down the Mouse Hole

Carlyle

aka King Carlyle, the king of Castle Tauna. In his 60s

10. Castle Tauna

Catherine

Twin sister to Carlyle.  (Changed from Matilda)

27. John Gets Shrunk (appears) 28. Catherine Returns (named)

Conn

One of the male pixies

97. Pixies in the Magic Forest

Charles

Husband to Penelope.  Father of Alicia and Amanda

10. Castle Tauna

Charlotte

Wife of Rufus.  Mother of Marcia and Thomas.  (Changed from Katherine)

10. Castle Tauna

Chief Minister

The king’s chief minister at the Mushroom Kingdom

78. A Meeting is Arranged

Clozar

One of the monsters that escapes into the forest

89. Midor Agrees Not to Worry

Conor

Son of George and Sarah.  10 years old (changed from Peter)

10. Castle Tauna

Dagon

A lizard who violates the law of the forest in the borderlands

99. The Crimes of the Dragon-Rabbits

David

The King of the Gnomes

39. In the Gnome Tunnels

Dustin

A Gnome.  One of the guards

39. In the Gnome Tunnels

Eleanor

The second wife of King Trad, stepmother to Henry, Grace and John

1. The Children of King Trad 

Elf King

King of the Elf Kingdom in the forest

8. The Elf Kingdom

Eric

The son of Helen and Jason.  5 years old. (changed from Jacob)

10. Castle Tauna

Fulvio

A mouse--friend of Midor

5. The Bear King

Free Animal Coalition

A loose affiliation of animals that oppose the Bear King

7. The Hippocamps

Gaius

A spider who disregards the law of the forest

31. The Spider in the Tree

 (appears)

34. Catherine and Talon Strike a Deal (named)

Garth

A dwarf who works in the mines--he recruits Midor to fight the monster

101. A Monster in the Mines

General Graten

The General of King Richard’s army

5. The Bear King

George

Son of King Carlyle.  Husband of Sarah.  Father of Susan and Conor.  Mid 30s

10. Castle Tauna

Grace

daughter of King Trad and Selene, sister of Henry and John. 15 years old. Red hair. green eyes. good at archery.  Fast runner.

1. The Children of King Trad 

Grato

One of the wolves who serve the Bear King

5. The Bear King

Great Forest

The name of the forest that is used by those who live inside.  (As opposed to “The Western Forest”, which is the name used by the people in Mora.)

9. The Land of the Fairies

Grinthal

The Goblin King

18. The Goblin Army

Helen

Youngest child of Carlyle and Benevois.  Married to Jason.  Mother of Eric.  Late 20s.

10. Castle Tauna

Henry

son of King Trad and Selene, brother of Grace and John.  17 years old. Brave but impetuous. Brown hair, green eyes

1. The Children of King Trad 

Horak

friend of King Trad who helps Henry, Grace and John escape into the forest.

2. The Friends of King Trad

Jacob

A frog.  Friend to John and later Carlyle

27. John Gets Shrunk

James

friend of King Trad (name changed from Jacob)

2. The Friends of King Trad

Jarus

the leader of the pack of wolves who serves the Bear King

5. The Bear King

Jason

Wife of Helen.  Father of Eric.

10. Castle Tauna

John

son of King Trad and Selene, brother of Grace and John. 14 years old. Brown thick hair.  Brown eyes.Quiet.  Reads a lot.

1. The Children of King Trad 

Justin

One of the water sprites

56. King Carlyle Explores the River

Klangor

A dragon (that Talon turns into a rabbit).  Friend of Starrof

19. The Dragons

Kolet

The mushroom princess.  In love with John.  (Changed from Colet)

78. A Meeting is Arranged (mentioned)

83. John and the Mushroom Princess (appears)

Larry

a bass who lives in the river

56. King Carlyle Explores the River

Larza

one of the monsters who escapes into the forest

89. Midor Agrees Not to Worry

Leo

A hedgehog who is recruited to help Carlyle and Jacob with the Water Sprite Queen

97. Pixies in the Magic Forest

Lotus

one of the wolves who serve the Bear King

5. The Bear King

Lucius

A cat who disregards the law of the forest--tried to eat King Carlyle

55. Lucius the Cat

Lydia

The Water Sprite who first befriends Carlyle and Jacob (also appears as Lucy)

56. King Carlyle Explores the River

Marcia

Daughter of George and Charlotte.  15 years old.

10. Castle Tauna

Midor

forest ranger, originally from Mora.  father of Robert, lover of Vivian

2. The Friends of King Trad

Mora

The land that Henry, Grace and John are from

1. The Children of King Trad 

Mr Cat

An anthropomorphic cat that lives in the land of the fairies

9. The Land of the Fairies

Mr Frog

An anthropomorphic frog that lives in the land of the fairies

9. The Land of the Fairies

Mr Rabbit

An anthropomorphic rabbit that lives in the land of the fairies

9. The Land of the Fairies

Ms Badger

An anthropomorphic Badger that lives in the land of the fairies

9. The Land of the Fairies

Ms Fox

An anthropomorphic fox that lives in the land of the fairies

9. The Land of the Fairies

Mr Mole

An anthropomorphic mole that lives in the land of the fairies

9. The Land of the Fairies

Mr Racoon

An anthropomorphic racoon that lives in the land of the fairies

9. The Land of the Fairies

Multus

A rabbit. Friend of Robert.  Travels with Titus (another rabbit)

4. The Secret Path

Penelope

Daughter of King Carlyle and Queen Benevois.  Husband to Charles.  Mother of Alicia and Amanda.  Late 30s

10. Castle Tauna

Peter

one of the friends of King Trad who, along with Horak, helps Henry, Grace and John escape into the forest (name changed from Thomas)

2. The Friends of King Trad

Philip

friend of King Trad

2. The Friends of King Trad

Rakthar

one of the monsters that escapes into the forest

89. Midor Agrees Not to Worry

Richard

King of Mora, brother of Trad, uncle of Henry, Grace and John, husband of Eleanor

1. The Children of King Trad 

Robert

Son of Midor and Vivian. 16 years old. black hair. Blue eyes.

2. The Friends of King Trad

Rufus

Son of King Carlyle.  Husband of Charlotte.  Father of Marcia and Thomas

10. Castle Tauna

Rogbel

One of the ancient monsters from the other dimension. He eats Aefar

120. Catherine Joins the Quest

Russell

A fox.  Friend of Robert. Lives near the entrance to the Western Forest. (name changed from Rufus)

4. The Secret Path

Sandi

a red cardinal.  Friend of Midor.  Always appears with Stuart.  (Changed from Sarah)

37. Down the Mouse Hole

Sarah

Wife of George.  Mother of Susan and Conor

10. Castle Tauna

Selene

Wife of King Trad (deceased), mother of Henry, Grace and John (Name changed from Helen)

1. The Children of King Trad 

Slvenkor

One of the ancient monsters--changed by Talon into a hamster

71. Slvenkor 

Starrof

A dragon (friend of Klangor) who Talon turns into a rabbit

19. The Dragons

Stephanus

One of 4 Hippocamps who helps Robert, Henry, Grace and John travel down the river

7. The Hippocamps

Stuart 

A red cardinal.  Friend of Midor.  Always appears with Sarah

37. Down the Mouse Hole

Susan

daughter of George and Sarah.  12 years old

10. Castle Tauna

Talia

A squirrel.  A friend of Midor

51. A Message From Vivian

Talon

The sorcerer of Castle Tauna

10. Castle Tauna

Tarquin

A fox, notable for breaking the rule of the forest and attempting to eat smaller animals (changed from Titus)

29. The Hungry Fox

Tauna

The ancient name for the Great forest, and the name of the Castle which stands in the middle

10. Castle Tauna

Thomas

Son of George and Charlotte.  14 years old.

10. Castle Tauna

Titus

A rabbit. Friend of Robert.  Travels with Multus (another rabbit)

4. The Secret Path

Trad

King of Mora (deceased), father of Henry, Grace and John, husband of Selene

1. The Children of King Trad 

Trata

one of the monsters who escapes into the forest

89. Midor Agrees Not to Worry

Vivian

daughter of Carlyle and Benevois.  Early 40s.  Mother of Robert.

10. Castle Tauna

Western Forest

The name given to the forest by those who live in Mora

2. The Friends of King Trad