Chapter | Summary | First appearance | Issues |
A prologue, in which the history of King Trad and his children (Henry, Grace and John) is briefly recounted | King Trad, King Richard, Henry, Grace, John, Selene, Eleanor | ||
The friends of King Trad meet and discuss how they will sneak Henry, Grace and John out of the city, and into the Western Forest | Horak, Peter, Philip, James, Midor (mentioned), Robert (mentioned) | ||
Part 1: Horak, Peter, Henry, Grace and John travel out of the city and to the Woodsman’s cabin Part 2: a brief description of Henry, Grace and John. Part 3: Henry, Grace and John are introduced to Robert, and step into the woods. | |||
Robert leads Henry, Grace and John into the path beneath the thornbushes. They encounter several animals who greet Robert. A nymph falls in love with Henry, and offers to hide him in her tree. | the Bear King (mentioned), Russell, Titus, Multus, | This chapter references jewels that Henry, Grace and John were carrying, that is not set up in previous chapters. | |
Part 1: Robert explains about the Bear King to Henry, Grace and John. Part 2: Robert leads Henry, Grace and John into the Bear King’s Kingdom, but when Henry challenges the Bear King, they are expelled, and subsequently captured by General Graten’s army | Jarus, Lotus, Grato, General Graten (mentioned), Fulvio (mentioned) | ||
The mouse Fulvio helps Robert, Henry, Grace and John escape from General Graten’s army. They hide in the Badger Burrow after escaping. | Andrew | ||
After hiding in the Badger Burrow for several days, Robert, Henry, Grace and John emerge and make their way to the lake and river. They are then carried down the river by 4 Hippocamps. | Stephanus | ||
Part 1: Robert, Henry, Grace and John enter the Elf Kingdom. Part 2: The next morning, they resupply themselves in the Elf Kingdom, and then continue on their journey | The Elf King | ||
Robert leads Henry, Grace and John into the land of the fairies. They meet the Animal People, and spend the night. | Mr. Frog, Mr Rabbit (mentioned), Ms. Fox (mentioned), Mr. Rat (mentioned), Ms. Badger (mentioned), Mr. Mole, Mr. Cat, Ms. Racoon | This would be a good place to name some individual fairies. Set up earlier that John was reading stories about the Animal People | |
Robert, Henry, Grace and John stumble upon Castle Tauna. Robert meets his whole family (mother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins) and discovers that he is a prince of Castle Tauna. | Carlyle, Benevois, Vivian, George, Sarah, Susan, Conor, Rufus, Charlotte, Marcia, Thomas, Penelope, Charles, Alicia, Amanda, Helen, Jason, Eric, Talon | ||
Castle Tauna goes on a search throughout the kingdom for Midor. Henry begins flirting with Alicia and Amanda. In the evening, Thomas tells John and Grace more about Castle Tauna. | It sounds at times that Midor had been a complete stranger to this part of the forest. Thomas says there is no army in Castle Tauna, but there is an army in later chapters. | ||
General Graten’s army arrives to fight, but King Carlyle meets with General Graten, and talks the army out of fighting | King Carlyle says “You can serve in my army--contradicts previous chapter in which it is said that there is no army. The housing crisis for the soldiers is set up here, but never addressed later. It’s established in this chapter that they run out of the wine. So keep consistent later. | ||
Part 1: Robert, Henry, Grace and John discuss the sounds that they’ve been hearing at night. Part 2: Thomas tells Grace about the spirits that haunt the forest | Why are the birds saying “Beware son of Midor”? It’s established that Talon is keeping the ghosts under control, but later it is never explained what happens to the ghosts when Talon is gone. Thomas doesn’t appear to know the history of the ghosts (i.e. originated with Catherine) | ||
Robert, Grace, Henry and John hear voices at night and leave the castle. They are joined by General Graten and Thomas. The voice of Midor instructs them to go beneath the hollow tree. They go down, and find Midor imprisoned in a magic grove. They try to rescue him, but Talon appears. They fight Talon. In the end, everyone but Thomas is knocked into the grove. | |||
Part 1: Thomas runs back to the castle and tells Marcia what just happened Part 2: Robert, Henry, Grace, John and Talon find themselves in the grove, where they meet Midor. Talon is bound and gagged. Midor tells them what has happened | A number of issues regarding how Midor found the grove in the first place, and why Talon imprisoned him, which have yet to be sorted out. Something about the Bear King’s son. | ||
Part 1: Thomas leads the royal family into the underground chamber Part 2: Midor and everyone else are pulled out of the grove by Thomas. Midor tells King Carlyle what happened. Talon tells King Carlyle that the grove is home to the ancient monsters, where the sorcerer’s guild imprisoned them centuries ago, but now the spell is broken. King Carlyle tells Rufus and George that they can no longer trust Talon. | In this chapter Vivian says she knows Midor has been trying to visit her every year. In other chapters (both before and after this one) it’s established that she doesn’t know. The entrance to the land of the monsters contradicts what will later be established with Ambrosia. Midor is aware that this is the land of the monsters in this chapter, but he appeared unaware in the previous chapter. In this chapter Talon communicates with the guild by Ravens. In later chapters it is hinted as a form of telepathy. It is once again established that Talon is the only one who can control the spirits. | ||
Part 1: Vivian and Midor talk about their relationship Part 2: Midor watches the men attempt to fill up the hole and comments on it. Part 3: Castle Tauna receives reports of a goblin army approaching | Thomas says the goblins are seldom a problem for people because of their size--this contradicts later parts when the goblin threat is built up | ||
The royal family encounters the goblin army. There is a brief battle, and Grinthal the Goblin King is taken prisoner. | Grinthal | If the Goblin army has been here many times before, then how come they don’t know about the trees? | |
The Goblin King Grinthal is locked up in the dudgeon. Then, dragons Klangor and Starrof appear and threaten the castle. King Carlyle promises them goblins instead, and then releases Grinthal | Klangor, Starrof | It’s said that dragons are not duplicitous and that they seldom break their word. But later on, it’s established that nobody trusts Starrof and Klangor. | |
Part 1: King Carlyle visits Talon to discuss the plan for when the dragons arrive. Part 2: The dragons arrive. Talon disregards King Carlyle’s plans, and turns them into rabbits. King Carlyle is disturbed that Talon has powers he has not yet revealed. King Carlyle discusses with his sons plans to spy on Talon | Talon is now in contact with the sorcerer’s guild via a glowing orb. Previously he said he would need a raven. In light of all that has happened since, it’s hard to believe that King Carlyle wouldn’t have known about the power of magic to transform creatures. Rufus is the father of Thomas, but that connection is not obvious here. | ||
Part 1: Henry talking to Alicia about their relationship Part 2: Vivian talking to Midor about their relationship Part 3: Grace talking to Robert about their relationship | |||
General Graten first criticizes Henry’s fencing technique, and then agrees to train him. Graten also upsets the rabbits. | |||
Part 1: Talon is visited by Peter and Susan Part 2: John discusses with Grace and Henry an ancient scroll he found in the library. | Talon says that the guild doesn’t have a physical location--this contradicts what is later established that the guild is located in the caves. Part 2 contains a plot thread that I later completely forgot about and was never further developed. It might make sense to delete this part. Or, perhaps the second draft could make better use of this plot. | ||
Jason, Midor and Graten stand guard over the entrance to the chamber, and exchange stories. | Lots of details here about the Bear King’s son that were never followed up. Also, I changed Charles to Jason here because I now think Charle’s backstory is as captain of the guard. But now I need to add another scene somewhere with Charle’s backstory. | ||
Part 1: Talon talks to Susan, and drops hints that he knows he’s being spied on. Part 2: George, Rufus and Carlyle discuss that Talon knows | Would it be better to have an earlier scene in which it’s revealed how Talon figures it out? More talk about how Talon is controlling the spirits. This part was completely dropped later. | ||
Grace confronts Henry about his flirting with multiple girls | This chapter is very short. Is that a problem? Should it be combined with another chapter? In future chapters, it needs to be better set up that both Grace and Henry broke a lot of hearts back in Mora. This chapter sets up a conflict which is not followed through later. | ||
John encounters Catherine (not yet named) who shrinks him down to the size of 3 inches. John escapes from Catherine, and meets Benjamin the Mouse and Jacob the frog. | Benjamin the mouse, Jacob the Frog, Catherine (appears, but name is not mentioned) | It says John is shrunk to the size of a man’s thumb (3 inches)--I think later it might say he was 6 inches. | |
Catherine shows up at Castle Tauna and demands entrance, but realizes that she’s lost John. Carlyle will only grant her entrance if she can find John. | Catherine (named) | ||
John, Benjamin and Jacob are chased by Tarquin the fox, and have to run up a gnome tree to escape. | Tarquin | ||
King Carlyle enlists Midor’s help to search for John | King Carlyle says: “She’s already shrunk down one guest of this castle, and she’s voiced the intention of shrinking down more.” Which was true once, but I’ve since revised that chapter so that it is now not stated explicitly. | ||
John, Benjamin and Jacob are attacked by a spider while exploring the tree tops | Gaius the Spider (appears but is not named) | ||
Carlyle asks Talon to help search for John. | There is some repetition here with previous chapters, particularly Carlyle’s injunction not to harm Midor but not to help Midor | ||
General Graten argues with Klangor and Starrof. After sparing Klangor’s life, General Graten claims a life debt. | |||
John, Benjamin and Jacob find the gnomes. A forest council is eventually called, at which Midor shows up. And then Catherine shows up to shrink Midor. Finally, Talon shows up, and Talon and Catherine agree to join forces | Gaius the spider (named) | In this chapter, the gnomes are surprised that Gaius the spider would break the law of the forest. But in an earlier chapter, there’s a walking stick near the spider’s hole which is presumed to be left by a gnome he attacked. It needs to be set up earlier that there are ravens around Castle Tauna bringing Catherine information. Also, is it consistently ravens, or is it crows in some chapters? | |
Midor unites with John, Benjamin and Jacob. Midor sends Bartholomew the fly to try to warn Carlyle | Bartholomew | This is the chapter where Midor meets Jacob and Benjamin. In later chapters, I forgot about this, so don’t forget to change in later chapters. | |
Catherine and Talon enter the castle. Carlyle is turned into a frog. | Carlyle claims that the creatures of the forest would never allow Catherine back on the throne. But the subsequent chapters do not show any tension. Talon, not Catherine, actually casts the spell which turns Carlyle into a frog. But in later chapters, it is attributed to Catherine. | ||
Midor and John arrive to help Carlyle escape from Catherine. They help him escape down a mouse hole | Carl, Sandi, Stuart | ||
The rest of the royal family confronts Catherine and Talon. Talon and Catherine defend Catherine’s right as Queen. | Here Catherine needs her wand in order to produce magic. But this is later abandoned. | ||
Part 1: Carlyle, Midor and John enter the Gnome tunnels, and meet Dustin. Part 2: While walking with Dustin, Midor tells Carlyle and John about the Gnomes Part 3: They are brought before the Gnome King David | Dustin, David | Originally the three parts were intercut with other scenes from Castle Tauna. I’ve put them all together now in my effort to make my chapters more thematically united. But does this interfere with the pacing? It is set up here that the Gnome King plans to help Midor and Carlyle reverse their enchantments. Was this ever followed through? | |
Part 1: George and Rufus discuss what they are going to do Part 2: George and Rufus confront Talon | The two parts here were originally in separate chapters (and intercut with other scenes.) I’ve recut it to make the chapters more thematically united, but possibly now the pacing is off. | ||
Vivian helps her mother, Benevois, who is now a frog. | What is “the crisis” that Vivian was waiting to conclude before she could return to Midor? | ||
Klangor and Starrof appeal to Catherine to turn them back into dragons. Catherine refuses | -In this version, Catherine and the dragons have never met each other and have no history. Depending on what happens with the second draft, I may have to re-work this section. -Catherine states explicitly that dragons can’t be trusted and make unreliable allies. This contradicts what Carlyle said in chapter 19. (Although as this goes on to become the dominant view, it’s probably chapter 19 that needs to be resolved). -Catherine says that she will discuss with Talon about the dragon’s request, but that plot thread is never picked up again | ||
Midor, John and Carlyle dine with the gnomes. Midor tells John Catherine’s backstory | -This chapter also mentions Catherine needs the wand - This chapter also emphasizes the ghosts outside the castle need to be controlled -As Catherine’s backstory becomes more set in the second draft, the backstory here will need to be revised to align with it more | ||
Catherine offers to train Vivian in magic | |||
Catherine forces King Grinthal to agree to act as her head of security | |||
Midor, Carlyle and John eat breakfast, and talk about plans to make contact with Castle Tauna. | |||
Catherine wants General Graten to join her services, but he wants proof of her loyalty first | --This implies wine is a scarcity, but General Graten was already drinking wine in chapter 33. I think this could be smoothed over by just making clear the wine cask that General Graten took in chapter 33 was dried up. --There’s a plot thread not followed up on here in which Catherine proposes to give the houses of the forest people to General Graten’s soldiers | ||
Part 1: The cardinals Sarah and Sandi arrive to fetch Vivian Part 2: Vivian and Robert meet Carlyle, Midor and John | |||
Henry, Robert and Grace get into a confrontation with the goblins, and are chided by General Graten | The problem of Goblins swarming the castle seems to be forgotten in later chapters. | ||
There is another battle against the goblins which Vivian stops by using her magic | |||
Midor, John, Jacob, Benjamin and Carlyle are travelling. They receive a message from Talia that Vivian is coming to join them. | Talia | ||
Catherine expresses frustration at General Graten for the battle with the goblins | --Robert’s leg was wounded. Did this get followed up in later chapters? | ||
Part 1: Vivian leaves the Castle to join Midor and Carlyle. Starrof and Klangor come with her Part 2: Vivian meets up with Carlyle and Midor (and John, Benjamin, Jacob) Part 3: Vivian leaves to go home and fight Catherine. Midor and Carlyle fight, and Midor agrees to leave the group | |||
Vivian comes back to the castle and attempts to fight Catherine. She ends by agreeing to let Catherine teach her. | |||
Lucius the cat abducts King Carlyle, and then they both fall into the water | Lucius | ||
King Carlyle and Jacob the frog are invited into the Water Sprite home, and then confront the pike | Larry, Lydia, Justin | --how long can Carlyle stay underwater without breathing air is inconsistent | |
Catherine teaches Vivian how to return Benevois back into a human. | --It’s implied that Midor was sympathetic to Vivian’s magic when they were younger (in contrast to her father), but does this square with Midor current opposition to it? | ||
An ogre attacks Grace and Robert. Grace blinds the ogre, but it seriously injures Robert | --Does the ogre need a name? --It is said here that ogres are difficult to kill--you need to cut off their head. This contradicts how easily General Graten killed it later. | ||
Catherine teaches Vivian spells to heal Robert | |||
King Carlyle confronts the Pike in the river | |||
Vivian learns spells and Catherine increases her beauty | --It says more ogres are on the way, but this was never followed up on. | ||
John and Benjamin search the river bank for Carlyle and Jacob | --The explanation for the rabbits staying with John is here given that they did not know the way. Later, the explanation will be that they were not welcomed in the land of the fairies.. | ||
The first ancient monster emerges from the pit. Charles and General Graten fight it. Catherine and Talon eventually come to save them with their magic | --General Graten has a suicidal streak here which contradicts his self-preservation tendencies in later chapters --Catherine comes out to save them from the monster in this chapter, but in later chapter she will refuse to do so. I suppose we could save this by indicating that this experience changed her mind about fighting. --The monster is portrayed as being so fast that Catherine doesn’t have time to form spells. Is this consistent with later portrayals? | ||
Catherine attempts to get the monster to join up with her, and when it refuses, she releases it (in its hamster form) into the forest | --The fate of this monster (which Catherine offers a reward for killing) is never followed up on | ||
John, Benjamin and the rabbits encounter talking leaves who are fighting with each other | |||
King Carlyle hears about the Water Sprite Queen for the first time, and sets out to find her | --How long frogs can breathe underwater and why is never consistently addressed | ||
3 monsters emerge. Everyone fights, and then Vivian arrives to save them from the monsters. But Vivian is losing control of her powers. | --Why is Talon nowhere to be found during this battle? Where is he? --Vivian getting taken control of by the dark magic is not really followed up on | ||
Carlyle, Jacob and Lydia search for the Water Sprite Queen | --I changed the name of the Watersprite accompanying them from Lucy to Lydia, to match up with the Watersprite mentioned in a previous chapter. But watch future chapters to make sure Lucy doesn’t appear again. And also check to see if this character stays with them or disappears --It’s hinted here that dark magic captured the Watersprite queen, not a portal to another dimension. | ||
John attempts to negotiate a peace with the leaves, which is ruined when the rabbits attack | |||
Part 1: Midor and General Graten meet to discuss what happened last night Part 2: Midor, Graten, George and Rufus meet Catherine to discuss protocol Part 3: Midor meets Vivian to talk about what happened last night | Originally part 2 and 3 were clearly separated, but when I redid the chapters I put them together. | ||
Talon, Midor, General Graten and others go out to find the giant monster Slvenkor, and Talon changes it into a hamster | Slvenkor | ||
Carlyle and Jacob continue searching for the Water Sprite Queen | --Lydia disappears from chapter 68. | ||
John, Benjamin the Mouse and the rabbits enter the Mushroom kingdom | --There’s a line in here explaining why John never realized the magic of the borderlands before--but it might be even better to put some of this magic back into their first trip to the land of the fairies --The final line of this chapter sets up that there are many more dangers before the Land of the Fairies, but this was never followed up on. | ||
The giant snake monster and the giant wolf monster have fled into the woods. Midor wants to pursue them. Graten wants to let them flee | --This plotline was never followed up on. | ||
John is spending a lot of time in the library of the Mushroom castle. Benjamin is getting worried. | |||
The monsters kill Talon | --Talon is able to do a couple spells at once, but not 3. In later chapters, it will be stated that only one spell can be performed at once. | ||
Part 1: Talon is buried and everyone talks about him Part 2: George and Rufus talk about how they can strike against Catherine now | --The monsters that killed Talon are said to have escaped into the forest. I don’t think this is followed up. --George and Rufus make plans to strike against Catherine, but this isn’t followed up | ||
The mushroom chief minister tells John that Princess Kolet is in love with him | Kolet (mentioned) Chief Minister | --originally this chapter didn’t include Kolet’s name. I’ve added it here, but I need to remember to add it in subsequent chapters. --John knows what Kolet looks like in this chapter. In a later chapter, though, he will say their meeting was the first time he saw her. (Perhaps rewrite the later chapter). --Should I get rid of the character of the chief minister? Maybe it’s Aurora who conveys the message? Would make more sense. --Benjamin the Mouse tells John that there’s no harm in the meeting. But later Benjamin will be the one who is against the relationship. | |
King Carlyle and Jacob meet the wise old turtle, who tells them how to find the Water Sprite Queen | |||
Part 1: Robert, Grace and Midor discuss how Henry is obviously under Catherine’s love spell Part 2: Robert, Grace and Midor go to the library to research love spells. They eventually come to the conclusion that they need Catherine to kiss General Graten. | --It’s mentioned here that there’s a possibility that Robert inherited magical ability, but I don’t think this was ever followed up on. --A legendary golden apple is mentioned. Maybe I should allude to the golden apple earlier in the story so that it has some weight | ||
Midor tries to get General Graten to agree to kiss Catherine. General Graten demands the magic elf sword | --make sure to put the magic elf sword part in the first draft | ||
Part 1: Midor gives General Graten the magic sword Part 2: General Graten proposes his love to Catherine. She rejects him. Part 3: Midor, Grace and Robert discuss alternative plans. They agree to try to get Alicia or Amanda to try to break the spell by kissing Henry | --the dialogue is somewhat repetitious. (Probably a result of composing this over a few different days.) --This chapter makes a couple different references to the monsters that are running around the forest, a plot line which was later dropped | ||
Part 1: John meets the Mushroom Princess for the first time Part 2: John talks to Benjamin the Mouse about the Mushroom Princess | Kolet (appears) | --Originally this chapter was written before I had decided on the name “Kolet”. I’ve added it in somewhat unevenly | |
84. The Witch, The Pike, and the Magical Realm Beyond the Whirlpool | Part 1: King Carlyle and Jacob the frog encounter a whirlpool in the river and travel into it. Part 2: King Carlyle find a wicked witch, and rescue the frozen body of the Water Sprite Queen from the Wicked Witch | Ambrosia (kind of--The witch will later be changed to Ambrosia) | --at first it’s stated that the pike is terrified of going down the whirlpool. But later we find out that the pike is in no danger --I should research freshwater fish and replace the pike with something else --It’s stated that Midor was trying to track down the smaller monsters--not the Bear King’s son. Is that a better explanation? --I will later change my mind about most of the things established in this chapter. The witch will be changed to Ambrosia. The magical realm will be changed to the underground. Thus, most of this will have to be re-written |
More monsters emerge. General Graten runs out to fight them with the magic sword. The sword can cut the monsters, but the monsters are often too fast to be caught. Vivian comes out and helps General Graten with her magic, but after General Graten is injured, Vivian takes the sword herself | |||
Part 1: Vivian asks Catherine advice on a super speed spell. Catherine suggests a potion. Part 2: Catherine and Vivian check the library for information on the potion. When they find out that they need a dragon’s claw, Catherine summons one. | |||
Part 1: General Graten and Vivian talk about fighting the dragon. It is decided that Vivian will take the magic sword herself Part 2: Vivian and Catherine encounter the dragon and fight it. They get the claw, and the dragon is transformed into a mouse | --How many spells can be chanted at once. I feel this is inconsistent --The mouse dragon is never followed up on. | ||
Part 1: Catherine convinces Vivian to take the speed potion instead of giving it to General Graten Part 2: Vivian recovers from the effects of the speed potion Part 3: General Graten is enraged when he finds out what happened. | --At the end, General Graten pledges his loyalty to Catherine. Was this forgotten about later? | ||
Part 1: Catherine and Vivian decide to track the missing monster. They realize they’ll need Midor to get their names. Part 2: Midor, Catherine, and Vivian argue about magic | Rakthar, Larza, Trata, Clozar | ||
Catherine and Vivian go to fight the monsters. Midor talks to Alicia and tried to get her to agree to kiss Henry to try to break the love enchantment. | --Midor promises to take Henry under his wing. Was this ever followed up on? --Midor seems to know a lot about Henry’s flirtations with Amanda and Alica. But he was absent for most of that, right? | ||
Catherine and Vivian fight the monster Rakthar | --How did Catherine become the expert in monsters? It was Midor who was supposed to know everything about the monsters. | ||
--General Graten seems to have forgotten his oath of loyalty to Catherine (from chapter 88) --Does Midor really not know about the magic sword going to Vivian? | |||
General Graten goes into Catherine’s room. He fights an enchanted Henry first, and then finds Grinthal imprisoned in a magic bottle. Over Grinthal’s objections, General Graten tries to get the bottle out of the room. | --the fact that Grinthal has been missing comes out of nowhere here. I should establish it in earlier chapters. --It’s established that Grinthal is bound by chains, but I think the part about chains will later be dropped? Should I delete the part about chains? | ||
Part 1: Midor recruits Charles, Penelope and Alicia Part 2: They confront General Graten at the top of the stairs. Then Catherine and Vivian return home, and Catherine chastises everyone | --Some inconsistencies as a result of writing this over several days. In one part, Catherine references Carlyle favorably (“maybe my brother did something right”) and then later she gets angry at Midor for bringing up Carlyle | ||
Part 1: Benjamin insists to John that it is time to make the Mushroom Kingdom Part 2: John and Kolet make a plan to escape together | Aurora (mentioned) | Aurora’s name wasn’t originally in this chapter. I added it later. | |
John, Kolet, Aurora and Benjamin escape from the Mushroom Kingdom | Aurora (appears) | --Originally this was the first time that the names “Kolet” and “Aurora” appeared. I’ve of course revised this so that the names appear early now. But there’s some awkwardness in the re-writing. --When I wrote this chapter, I think I forgot that the Mushroom Kingdom was bigger than just the Mushroom Castle. In Chapter 73, there were mushroom soldiers all throughout a larger kingdom --Is the story about why the dragon rabbits are waiting inconsistent? | |
Carlyle and Jacob are in search of someone to help them carry the Water Sprite Queen. They meet the pixies and Leo the hedgehog | Leo, Aiden, Adair, Conn, Brenna, Arlene, Alina | --What powers do the pixies have? It’s left too vague --the part about the Queen of the Water Sprites being the key to keeping the monsters out of the forest was never explained, and gets dropped in later chapters --earlier the pixies talk about gold, then later they say they don’t want gold --The pixies are named, but never given any traits that would make them distinguishable from each other | |
98. Midor, Jason and General Graten Agree to Travel Together | Part 1: a long discussion among the inhabitants of Castle Tauna. The result is that Jason, Midor and General Graten agree to leave Castle Tauna in search of the sorcerer’s guild Part 2: Midor says goodbye to Vivian | Aefar | --Henry is confused about the nomenclature of the ancient monsters. In the first draft, I’ve used the name ‘Teritha’ to distinguish the ancient monsters from the everyday monsters. I could import that over here. -General Graten is negotiating in order to accompany Jason. But why is he negotiating? What’s in it for him? |
John, Benjamin, Kolet and Aurora are travelling through the borderlands. They are almost eaten by Dagon the lizard, but are rescued by the Brownies. But the Brownies are upset by what Starrof and Klangor have been doing in the borderlands | Dagon | --the logistics about John on the lizard’s tongue is a bit confusing. I don’t remember exactly what I was visualizing when I wrote this part --The announcement that the dragon-rabbits have killed several sentient beings darkens the tone somewhat. Up until now, I’ve been trying to avoid a needless body count in this story. | |
King Carlyle’s extended group is intercepted by the Pixies. The Brownies attempt to capture them, but eventually give up and agree to escort them to the land of the fairies. | --I need to decide whether or not flowers can walk in the borderlands. The previous chapter said some of them could. | ||
Midor, Jason and General Graten are walking when the Dwarves ask for their help in fighting a monster | Garth, Alfred (appears as a worm dragon) | ||
Part 1: Vivian and Catherine are training, when Sandi and Stuart arrive to relay Midor’s message Part 2: Vivian and Catherine travel to the mines to help them fight the monster. The monster turns out to be Alfred | Alfred (appears as a human and mentioned by name) | --Since I wrote this, Alfred’s origin story has evolved. He’s no longer from one of the noble forest families, but from the mountains. Also in the new draft, I’m not sure how much contact Vivian will have with Alfred before he disappears. --This was supposed to be a big turning point in Catherine’s arc, but I didn’t manage to keep the evolution steady. So now it’s a bit of an awkward scene that changes little | |
The two different travelling groups (John and Benjamin, Carlyle and Jacob), finally reunite in the land of the fairies. | --I left myself a note in the text: {Note to self: If you can think of a way for ordinary objects of the forest--e.g. twigs, leaves, etc, to come together and make a raft, that might be preferable. Or just cut the stream crossing altogether?} --Most of what is encountered in the borderlands was not set-up when John first visited here with Robert. In subsequent drafts, I should fix this. --More stuff to set up in the prequels: Carlyle actually has a history with the fairies --An inconsistency here (and in subsequent chapters). I forgot that Talon actually changed King Carlyle into the frog (in chapter 36), not Catherine. --Would it be better to name the fairies instead of having them be anonymous? (Yes! Definitely better to name a few of them.) --The conflict between the fairies and the pixies was built up in previous chapters, but rather underplayed here. --There’s some repetition in the conversations between Carlyle and the fairies (a result of composing this chapter over multiple days, and possibly of sleep deprivation.) | ||
Catherine and Alfred talk | |||
Midor and Charles are talking when Aefar enters. Midor attempts to bargain with him. | --What is the darker force that is drawing the monsters in deeper? | ||
The Water Sprite Queen tells how she became enchanted | Ambrosia (first mention of her name) | --So many issues! Obviously I need to sort out what exactly my story is, because at the moment I haven’t decided. | |
King Carlyle returns to Castle Tauna to warn Catherine about Ambrosia. John is restored to his normal size by Vivian | --once again, this chapter forgets that it was Talon who put the spell on Carlyle in chapter 36. | ||
Carlyle, Vivian and Alfred continue their conversation from the previous chapter | --Would it make more sense to tag this on to the end of the previous chapter rather than have it be its own chapter? | ||
John meets Henry and Grace again | --not my best work. (I think I was sleep deprived when I wrote it.) Also not really a full chapter | ||
Catherine instructs Aefar on how he will accompany Midor and Carlyle | --The part about animal blood not being as sustaining is new to this chapter, I believe. I don’t think that was mentioned before. | ||
In front of Catherine, Carlyle asks Midor to accompany him to the realm of monsters. Then Catherine introduces Aefar as the 3rd member of their journey. | --When I wrote this, I forgot that Midor had already met Benjamin the Mouse in Chapter 35 --This is the second time I’ve used this chapter title. The first time was chapter 30. | ||
Everyone assembles for the journey into the realm of the monsters. First, Catherine has to remove the dirt, which she does by giving Vivian a magic lesson | |||
Part 1: After briefly confirming they have a way back, Midor, Carlyle and the rest step into the Monster’s realm Part 2: Midor directs them to head towards the horizon | --This is too short to be its own chapter. I should probably merge it with the previous one. --As noted in the editorial comments in the text, it’s strange that the question of how they will get back is just now being introduced. --I don’t remember where, but I think somewhere before I had said that the light was only in the grove. Obviously I’ve changed that here. | ||
General Graten approaches Charles and discusses the subject of launching an attack while Aefar the vampire is away. | |||
Midor, Carlyle and the rest of their group journey deeper into the land of monsters | --King Carlyle is a bit too chummy with Midor. He had previously forgiven Midor, but perhaps there should still be some lingering frostiness between them. | ||
There’s a big climactic fight between the family of Castle Tauna and Catherine and her army. The snake, the bugbear, and the minotaur are killed, and Catherine is captured and bound. | --Oof, this is really rough. But then, it’s a zero draft still --As I noted in the editorial comments inserted, I forgot about the magic sword and super speed until halfway through the chapter | ||
Catherine wakes up and she is bound and gagged. Vivian and Alfred attempt to reason with her. | --Exactly how many magic spells are able to be worked simultaneously has been inconsistent throughout this whole story. Here Vivian says it’s only one. --The idea of a magic oath which would bind Catherine is introduced, and then seems to be just as quickly forgotten about. --Is there a cure for the degeneration of Catherine's mind? Would it be a better story if there wasn’t? --The ending is very abrupt | ||
Vivian and Alfred take Catherine to the mountains, where they discuss with a witch how to remove Catherine’s magical abilities | --This abrupt change to a “Catherine’s redemption arc” is a mistake. It wasn’t earned in the story, comes out of nowhere, and seems to invalidate everything before | ||
Catherine releases King Grinthal from his bottle, and also appoints Vivian the ruler of Castle Tauna in her absence as she prepares to journey into the of the monsters. | --This was in the stage when all the chapters I was writing were much too short. | ||
Currently unfinished… | Rogbel |
King Carlyle + Queen Benevois | ||||
Vivian (40s)+ Midor | George (mid 30s)+ Sarah | Rufus (mid 30s) + Charlotte | Penelope (late 30s) + Charles | Helen (late 20s) + Jason |
Robert (16) | Susan (12), Conor (10) | Marcia (15), Thomas (14) | Alicia (18), Amanda (16) | Eric (5) |
Name | brief description | First appearance/Mention |
Adair | one of the male pixies | |
Aefar | A vampire under Catherine’s control | 98. Midor, Jason and General Graten Agree to Travel Together |
Aiden | one of the male pixies | |
Alfred | Catherine’s former lover, who she turned into a monstrous worm | 101. A Monster in the Mines (appears in his worm form) 102. Alfred Returns (appears as a human and mentioned by name) |
Alicia | daughter of Penelope and Charles. Sister to Amanda. 18 years old. | |
Alina | One of the female pixies | |
Amanda | daughter of Penelope and Charles. Younger sister to Alicia. 16 years old | |
Ambrosia | 84.The Witch, The Pike, and the Magical Realm Beyond the Whirlpool (Kind of. I’m planning on rewriting this so the Witch is Ambrosia) 106. The Water Sprite Queen’s Story (first mention of her name) | |
Andrew | A badger. A friend of Midor (named changed from Philip) | |
Animal People | Anthropomorphic animals who live with the fairies | |
Anet | The family that Queen Eleanor comes from | |
Arlene | One of the female pixies | |
Aurora | lady-in-waiting to Princess Kolet | 95. John and Princess Kolet Make a Plan (mentioned) 96. Escape from the Mushroom Kingdom (appears) |
Bartholomew | a fly. Friend of Midor | |
Bear King | King of the breakaway kingdom inside the forest. 10 feet tall grizzly bear | |
Benevois | aka Queen Benevois, the queen of Castle Tauna | |
Benjamin | A mouse. Friend to John. | |
Brenna | One of the female pixies | |
Carl | A bee. A friend of Midor | |
Carlyle | aka King Carlyle, the king of Castle Tauna. In his 60s | |
Catherine | Twin sister to Carlyle. (Changed from Matilda) | 27. John Gets Shrunk (appears) 28. Catherine Returns (named) |
Conn | One of the male pixies | |
Charles | Husband to Penelope. Father of Alicia and Amanda | |
Charlotte | Wife of Rufus. Mother of Marcia and Thomas. (Changed from Katherine) | |
Chief Minister | The king’s chief minister at the Mushroom Kingdom | |
Clozar | One of the monsters that escapes into the forest | |
Conor | Son of George and Sarah. 10 years old (changed from Peter) | |
Dagon | A lizard who violates the law of the forest in the borderlands | |
David | The King of the Gnomes | |
Dustin | A Gnome. One of the guards | |
Eleanor | The second wife of King Trad, stepmother to Henry, Grace and John | |
Elf King | King of the Elf Kingdom in the forest | |
Eric | The son of Helen and Jason. 5 years old. (changed from Jacob) | |
Fulvio | A mouse--friend of Midor | |
Free Animal Coalition | A loose affiliation of animals that oppose the Bear King | |
Gaius | A spider who disregards the law of the forest | (appears) |
Garth | A dwarf who works in the mines--he recruits Midor to fight the monster | |
General Graten | The General of King Richard’s army | |
George | Son of King Carlyle. Husband of Sarah. Father of Susan and Conor. Mid 30s | |
Grace | daughter of King Trad and Selene, sister of Henry and John. 15 years old. Red hair. green eyes. good at archery. Fast runner. | |
Grato | One of the wolves who serve the Bear King | |
Great Forest | The name of the forest that is used by those who live inside. (As opposed to “The Western Forest”, which is the name used by the people in Mora.) | |
Grinthal | The Goblin King | |
Helen | Youngest child of Carlyle and Benevois. Married to Jason. Mother of Eric. Late 20s. | |
Henry | son of King Trad and Selene, brother of Grace and John. 17 years old. Brave but impetuous. Brown hair, green eyes | |
Horak | friend of King Trad who helps Henry, Grace and John escape into the forest. | |
Jacob | A frog. Friend to John and later Carlyle | |
James | friend of King Trad (name changed from Jacob) | |
Jarus | the leader of the pack of wolves who serves the Bear King | |
Jason | Wife of Helen. Father of Eric. | |
John | son of King Trad and Selene, brother of Grace and John. 14 years old. Brown thick hair. Brown eyes.Quiet. Reads a lot. | |
Justin | One of the water sprites | |
Klangor | A dragon (that Talon turns into a rabbit). Friend of Starrof | |
Kolet | The mushroom princess. In love with John. (Changed from Colet) | 78. A Meeting is Arranged (mentioned) 83. John and the Mushroom Princess (appears) |
Larry | a bass who lives in the river | |
Larza | one of the monsters who escapes into the forest | |
Leo | A hedgehog who is recruited to help Carlyle and Jacob with the Water Sprite Queen | |
Lotus | one of the wolves who serve the Bear King | |
Lucius | A cat who disregards the law of the forest--tried to eat King Carlyle | |
Lydia | The Water Sprite who first befriends Carlyle and Jacob (also appears as Lucy) | |
Marcia | Daughter of George and Charlotte. 15 years old. | |
Midor | forest ranger, originally from Mora. father of Robert, lover of Vivian | |
Mora | The land that Henry, Grace and John are from | |
Mr Cat | An anthropomorphic cat that lives in the land of the fairies | |
Mr Frog | An anthropomorphic frog that lives in the land of the fairies | |
Mr Rabbit | An anthropomorphic rabbit that lives in the land of the fairies | |
Ms Badger | An anthropomorphic Badger that lives in the land of the fairies | |
Ms Fox | An anthropomorphic fox that lives in the land of the fairies | |
Mr Mole | An anthropomorphic mole that lives in the land of the fairies | |
Mr Racoon | An anthropomorphic racoon that lives in the land of the fairies | |
Multus | A rabbit. Friend of Robert. Travels with Titus (another rabbit) | |
Penelope | Daughter of King Carlyle and Queen Benevois. Husband to Charles. Mother of Alicia and Amanda. Late 30s | |
Peter | one of the friends of King Trad who, along with Horak, helps Henry, Grace and John escape into the forest (name changed from Thomas) | |
Philip | friend of King Trad | |
Rakthar | one of the monsters that escapes into the forest | |
Richard | King of Mora, brother of Trad, uncle of Henry, Grace and John, husband of Eleanor | |
Robert | Son of Midor and Vivian. 16 years old. black hair. Blue eyes. | |
Rufus | Son of King Carlyle. Husband of Charlotte. Father of Marcia and Thomas | |
Rogbel | One of the ancient monsters from the other dimension. He eats Aefar | |
Russell | A fox. Friend of Robert. Lives near the entrance to the Western Forest. (name changed from Rufus) | |
Sandi | a red cardinal. Friend of Midor. Always appears with Stuart. (Changed from Sarah) | |
Sarah | Wife of George. Mother of Susan and Conor | |
Selene | Wife of King Trad (deceased), mother of Henry, Grace and John (Name changed from Helen) | |
Slvenkor | One of the ancient monsters--changed by Talon into a hamster | |
Starrof | A dragon (friend of Klangor) who Talon turns into a rabbit | |
Stephanus | One of 4 Hippocamps who helps Robert, Henry, Grace and John travel down the river | |
Stuart | A red cardinal. Friend of Midor. Always appears with Sarah | |
Susan | daughter of George and Sarah. 12 years old | |
Talia | A squirrel. A friend of Midor | |
Talon | The sorcerer of Castle Tauna | |
Tarquin | A fox, notable for breaking the rule of the forest and attempting to eat smaller animals (changed from Titus) | |
Tauna | The ancient name for the Great forest, and the name of the Castle which stands in the middle | |
Thomas | Son of George and Charlotte. 14 years old. | |
Titus | A rabbit. Friend of Robert. Travels with Multus (another rabbit) | |
Trad | King of Mora (deceased), father of Henry, Grace and John, husband of Selene | |
Trata | one of the monsters who escapes into the forest | |
Vivian | daughter of Carlyle and Benevois. Early 40s. Mother of Robert. | |
Western Forest | The name given to the forest by those who live in Mora |
